You are not alone - depression,anxiety, insecurities happens
Hello,
let's just cut to the case. I do not know if anyone is going to read this. And if I make some grammatical mistakes on the way, I am truly sorry in advance. I'm writing this very upset and shook. But hey who wouldn't be in world we live in today. I just watched a documentary about depression and anxiety, I have a friend who struggles really hard with it and I'm trying to do everything I can to help, but she keeps shutting me out. Then again, some days I find myself thinking, what if I am in that state too, just a lower one, what if I keep loosing all my friends because my sadness is unbearable to them?! But I know that I really have one thing I do not want to do, I do not want to end up alone in this.
If you just ask somebody, what their biggest fear is, do you think that they would be straight damn honest? I don't! I know I'm never really completely honest about my fear in front of someones face. I could write this fear down, I could even scream it when I'm alone, I could hint it to my best friends. But I can not say my fear straight to someones face, when they ask me for it. I can't tell my real fear, so I just end up telling them that I'm afraid of snakes, because it fells more natural, that fear of snakes. But is it really?
I can bet that there are many more people being scared of my actual fear, than the fear of snakes. Silly me, I haven't told you yet, what my real fear is, have I? I mean I hinted it at some places, but I never told you. See, I'm afraid to said it again. But I will say it, because I can not sit still and do nothing about it anymore.
So here it goes. My biggest fear ever is being alone. I had my ups and downs in life. Met new people, lost contact with some old people. But I keep thinking, what if all new people leave just like the old ones did and the new new people never come again. I'm scared to death that I will end up alone in world full of happy couples and healthy friendships.
I have family but I was never too close to any of them. Actually, my cousin and I were pretty close until recently. But high school happened. We went to the same high school, but had very different experiences in that school. I was outsider and always getting bullied and picked on, I hated that school from my guts, I do not even go there anymore and I still do hate that school and people who were in it. And my cousin, well he got tall and handsome and all the girls loved the gorgeous Robert. That is how our paths divided. I was not good enough anymore.
And what the hell do you do when your best friend from your childhood and your own blood leaves you hanging?
You don't really now me in person, I mean why would you. But here is how things stand. I seem to be very closed person and a shy loner to the outside world, who has no clue about me. To my friends I seem to be a very happy person, many of them said they never met someone goofier than me. But in reality, I'm neither.
I'm actually the most honest person you will ever meet. I'm very open about everything. I do not hide things from anyone. You just ask me a question, I will answer it no matter what the question is. I'm not that happy either. But I suppose you can see that from this long ass post. My smile is usually the mask that hides all the pain and fear. I often use humor and do stupid things like scream or climb the tree or both at the same time, because that is my way of dealing with all those hidden feelings.
But now, if you had the patience to listen to me to this point. I would like to say something else too.
I would like to start something new and beautiful.
I know I am not the only one suffering from insecurities. As I said before, I have friends suffering from depression, anxiety, being just scared as me and similar. I found many of my best friends and support on the internet and now I want to do the same or at least similar to other people, suffering the same faith.
I don't want to feel alone. In my opinion, no one actually wants to be alone. Many people blame social media that it causes depression and suffering, but I think it can really help! Social media is not all toxic and people on the internet won't all kill you. Sometimes it is even easier to talk to an internet friend because you can write them while they can't see you crying or being like a puppy or something third.
People who suffer from the fears, insecurities, depression or anxiety should be able to talk to other people. Should be able to talk to people suffering from the same diseases and people who can help them. Do not be afraid to tell your own story, because somebody is listening and somebody understands!
let's just cut to the case. I do not know if anyone is going to read this. And if I make some grammatical mistakes on the way, I am truly sorry in advance. I'm writing this very upset and shook. But hey who wouldn't be in world we live in today. I just watched a documentary about depression and anxiety, I have a friend who struggles really hard with it and I'm trying to do everything I can to help, but she keeps shutting me out. Then again, some days I find myself thinking, what if I am in that state too, just a lower one, what if I keep loosing all my friends because my sadness is unbearable to them?! But I know that I really have one thing I do not want to do, I do not want to end up alone in this.
If you just ask somebody, what their biggest fear is, do you think that they would be straight damn honest? I don't! I know I'm never really completely honest about my fear in front of someones face. I could write this fear down, I could even scream it when I'm alone, I could hint it to my best friends. But I can not say my fear straight to someones face, when they ask me for it. I can't tell my real fear, so I just end up telling them that I'm afraid of snakes, because it fells more natural, that fear of snakes. But is it really?
I can bet that there are many more people being scared of my actual fear, than the fear of snakes. Silly me, I haven't told you yet, what my real fear is, have I? I mean I hinted it at some places, but I never told you. See, I'm afraid to said it again. But I will say it, because I can not sit still and do nothing about it anymore.
So here it goes. My biggest fear ever is being alone. I had my ups and downs in life. Met new people, lost contact with some old people. But I keep thinking, what if all new people leave just like the old ones did and the new new people never come again. I'm scared to death that I will end up alone in world full of happy couples and healthy friendships.
I have family but I was never too close to any of them. Actually, my cousin and I were pretty close until recently. But high school happened. We went to the same high school, but had very different experiences in that school. I was outsider and always getting bullied and picked on, I hated that school from my guts, I do not even go there anymore and I still do hate that school and people who were in it. And my cousin, well he got tall and handsome and all the girls loved the gorgeous Robert. That is how our paths divided. I was not good enough anymore.
And what the hell do you do when your best friend from your childhood and your own blood leaves you hanging?
You don't really now me in person, I mean why would you. But here is how things stand. I seem to be very closed person and a shy loner to the outside world, who has no clue about me. To my friends I seem to be a very happy person, many of them said they never met someone goofier than me. But in reality, I'm neither.
I'm actually the most honest person you will ever meet. I'm very open about everything. I do not hide things from anyone. You just ask me a question, I will answer it no matter what the question is. I'm not that happy either. But I suppose you can see that from this long ass post. My smile is usually the mask that hides all the pain and fear. I often use humor and do stupid things like scream or climb the tree or both at the same time, because that is my way of dealing with all those hidden feelings.
But now, if you had the patience to listen to me to this point. I would like to say something else too.
I would like to start something new and beautiful.
I know I am not the only one suffering from insecurities. As I said before, I have friends suffering from depression, anxiety, being just scared as me and similar. I found many of my best friends and support on the internet and now I want to do the same or at least similar to other people, suffering the same faith.
I don't want to feel alone. In my opinion, no one actually wants to be alone. Many people blame social media that it causes depression and suffering, but I think it can really help! Social media is not all toxic and people on the internet won't all kill you. Sometimes it is even easier to talk to an internet friend because you can write them while they can't see you crying or being like a puppy or something third.
People who suffer from the fears, insecurities, depression or anxiety should be able to talk to other people. Should be able to talk to people suffering from the same diseases and people who can help them. Do not be afraid to tell your own story, because somebody is listening and somebody understands!
P.S here is the facebook and instagram page if you feel more comfortable talking there:
https://www.facebook.com/socialmediacanhelp/?modal=admin_todo_tour
instagram: youarenotaloneandmatter
https://www.facebook.com/socialmediacanhelp/?modal=admin_todo_tour
instagram: youarenotaloneandmatter
Pozdrav! Tvoj blog slučajno sam pronašao kroz neki komentar na nekom drugom blogu i doista mi se sviđa. Puno tinejđera danas pati od depresije i anksioznosti, pa čak mogu reći da sam i ja sam jedan od njih. Prolazio sam kroz grozno razdoblje u osnovnoj školi i kroz maltretiranja, koje je završilo, sada sam u srednjoj školi, ali i dalje nije više ništa kao prije. Oduvijek sam bio drugačiji od ostalih, dok su svi drugi ludili za sportom, ja sam bio više ujetnički tip, i dan danas sam takav, volim književnost, umjetnost, rock muziku, crtiće dok većina drugih tinejđera u mojoj okolici voli narodnu muziku i skroz neke druge stvari. Često se osjećam i sam kao da sam zaista "sam na svijetu" i čak i kada uđe neka osoba u moj život i pomislim da bi to moglo biti lijepo prijateljstvo, vrlo brzo se sve poruši :( . Već imam dva svoja bloga od prije, ali odavno mi se mota po glavi ideja da napravim knačno jedan teen blog koji će biti upravo na tu temu, o životnim iskustvima, padovima, nešt kao ohrabrenje i djelomično o stvarima koje ja volim. Da li ću ga zbilja otvoriti, ne znam, ali svakako sviđa mi se tvoj blog i nadam se da ćeš vidjeti komentar. Pozz :)
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